Sex and the Septuagenarian

A young man from India recently quizzed me about getting old. He said he had read Hunga Dunga and thought I was a wise man and maybe he could acquire some wisdom from me. I chuckled at that, but said, “fire away.” The conversation was real and these were the questions he asked.

Ravi: What is the difference between happiness gotten through drugs, sex, or spirituality?

The Unapologetic Hippie: Psychedelic drugs may have been a way to open one’s mind and give it a glimpse of pure consciousness. But it would only last for the duration of the drug. That led many hippies to pursue meditation and to find a “guru” who would teach them how to experience the “high” of god-consciousness without doing drugs. Sex is always more beautiful and meaningful when it is performed realizing your partner is… god. And if you realize that, the sex may not be a requirement for happiness.

Ravi: What is difference between sex and love?

The Unapologetic Hippie: Sex eventually withers away. The libido diminishes substantially and sometimes dies. But love is constant, love grows and any act you do with love, including sex, is always more satisfying. Now why so many questions? I would like to learn your view on these subjects.

Ravi:I agree with your view that love is constant and sex is limited to a certain amount of time… love is related to the heart and sex is related only to the body. We are more heart than body. Love is like breath!

The Unapologetic Hippie: See what I mean when I say that age has little to do with wisdom? You just gave an example of that!

Ravi: Sir, you are too kind. But I confess that last statement came out of your book, Hunga Dunga! Now since you are this day a 70 years old/young man, and I’m 34… one day I will be your age. So what do you see as the difference in the desire for sex and love at both these different ages?

The Unapologetic Hippie: As for the sex, I will say that it varies from person to person. I know 80-year-old men who are still sexually active. I am sorry to say I have no sexual desires… well, I have them all the time… in my mind… haha… but I have no physical sexual desires; no groinal twinges. I have only my imagination and fantasies. Yet my love grows and when I hold my spouse’s hand in bed at night, the vibrations between us are as exciting as having sex. We are making love the moment our fingertips touch.

Ravi: Dear Phil, what is the difference you feel between love with the desire for sex and love without the sex?

The Unapologetic Hippie: Sex is the human’s way of trying to achieve the experience of union. Sex combined with love allows you to perfect the experience and approach closer to the feeling of unity. If the purpose of sex, besides its procreative function, is to achieve an experience of union, then a true and deep love, even without sex, makes the experience of “oneness” even easier to experience.

Ravi: When we fall in the love and have sex, we feel the orgasm through an ejaculation. But in a love without the desire of sex do you ever have an orgasm-like feeling?

The Unapologetic Hippie: Though the orgasm is internal, it is just as fulfilling as a passionate ejaculation. It’s just more subtle. The more experiences of both joy and suffering two people share, the deeper the love becomes. Well I’m sure it’s different for each individual, but I feel a warmth and glow… like an aura that sweeps over my entire body…. a rush of heat. But no, it’s not like the ejaculation of an intercourse.

Ravi: In which kind of love have you felt more joy, pleasure, and satisfaction… love with the sex and ejaculation or love without the desire for orgasm?

The Unapologetic Hippie: I think love without the sex, but then can I trust myself? Do I say that because I have no choice in the matter?

Ravi: You are so nice and kind. In the light of your wisdom, I can see myself when I am your age. It’s a very exciting and beautiful experience for me to feel your experience. This has been for me a most beautiful conversation filled with a most beautiful energy!

The Unapologetic Hippie: “In the light of my wisdom?” Thanks, Ravi, but now you are being too kind. If the energy is beautiful, it means I am feeling pretty good today and when you feel healthy the world seems beautiful. Had you caught me when one of my many ailments is flaring up, you might think me just another grouchy old man! So let’s put to rest this idea that getting older means you are getting wiser. One can hope for that, but there is no guarantee. Wisdom is a function of love… a love for all humankind, the environment, and justice, both social and economic. All require that we constantly work on ourselves. It’s hard work that may or may not be accomplished in a lifetime. Maybe longer. Yet the trite always being true, I leave you with the Beatles: All you need is love!

Namaste my friend,

Phil, The Unapologetic Hippie


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