Had Your Prostate Tickled Lately?

How much is one’s intuition worth? It’s certainly not as valid as facts and statistics. Yet often we can intuit something, come to a conclusion, and only later find out our unscientific conclusion was supported by facts and statistics we didn’t know existed, or hadn’t bothered to discover.

For years, decades even, I have had a suspicion (a form of intuition, I suppose) that gay men, especially those who prefer to be the fuckee rather than the fucker, have less of a chance of getting prostate cancer than their heterosexual counterparts. After all these years I decided to investigate this to see if there were any truth to my suspicion. Lo and behold, the statistics from many different sources agree that the incidence of prostate cancer is lower among gay men than any other demographic. In fact, it is much lower. This, of course, assumes heterosexual men do not engage in anal sex (a bold assumption on my part,) yet I dare say all men, regardless of their sexual orientation, enjoy having their prostates tickled now and then.

I am not trying to be salacious or shocking. For some, “in-the-butt” talk is considered naughty and taboo. But who else but a hippie would tell you like it is in plain English. I would not be surprised to find that many heterosexual men, when they are in the midst of exciting intercourse with their partners, silently wish their lovers would play with their assholes, finger them, or use a handy sex tool with which to stimulate their prostates. Either the men are too shy to ask, or their female partners are too prudish to instigate such an anatomical journey. This is medically unfortunate and certainly romantically unfortunate if one’s sexual relationship is in need of some “refreshment.”

How enjoyable and rewarding it is, then, when a man visits his urologist to find he has an enlarged prostate or BPH and the doctor begins his examination with the least invasive method (besides blood tests) of giving the patient a prostate massage. Pants dropped, forearms resting on the examination table, and legs partly spread, the doctor inserts a finger up the lubricated asshole, reaching for the prostate. As soon as he approaches it, the patient will find he is starting to leak. The doctor probes further and the leakage may turn into a full-blown ejaculation without even having a hard on. Some patients, at the behest of their doctor, must get a prostate massage weekly or biweekly. Almost all men leave the doctor’s office feeling a release and relief. They urinate more easily and the salutary effects may last for many days.

At Hunga Dunga, “asshole consciousness” was an important topic. From getting fucked to bowel movements, we never regarded any part of the human anatomy as anything but beautiful and therefore never had a problem talking about biological functions. We did not worry about using delicate language, but spoke bluntly and openly about our bodies and how they worked. Fifty years later, people are finally beginning to be able to talk about such things. Even on talk shows, recommendations are phrased as gentle hints that a woman should consider using their little finger to give their mates a thrill and re-energize their sex life. (I think the little finger is pretty inadequate, but every little bit helps!) The problem is these talk show hosts never come right out and say that it is a part of preventative health to do so if you don’t want your hubby to get prostate cancer. If you are prone to regarding the gastrointestinal tract as an unseemly topic, remember that beauty is in the eye of the ass-holder.

Women, as well, have a counterpart to the male prostate. It is called the Skene gland. Actually, there are two of them. Some believe that this is actually the G-spot, though others disagree. The Skene glands are located on the anterior wall of the vagina and surround the clitoris. In the same way a male can be aroused by having his prostate massaged, a woman can experience pleasure by having her Skene glands stimulated from the “back” side of the wall, the anal canal. This sexual activity has been practiced throughout history, but is a topic that has not been discussed openly until recently. There are women who positively enjoy anal intercourse, but I find no information if such activity helps reduce the incidence of cancer in female sex organs. However, I think most will agree that men enjoy the experience more than women.

That is not to say that all men enjoy anal intercourse. Many gay men do not enjoy it. So let’s not generalize and regard this sexual practice as de rigueur among the gay community. It certainly is a sexual activity much more prevalent among homosexuals than heterosexuals and for this reason, I conclude that having your prostate massaged regularly, either by your partner or a medical practitioner, is a good and healthy way to prevent an enlarged prostate and accounts for the very low incidence of prostate cancer among homosexuals.

Someone once said that “you haven’t lived until you’ve had your prostate tickled.” I shall add to that, “If you want to ward off prostate cancer, have your prostate tickled as often as possible!

Namaste,

The Unapologetic Hippie

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7 thoughts on “Had Your Prostate Tickled Lately?

  1. Darwinfish

    Open House by Theodore Roethke

    My secrets cry aloud.
    I have no need for tongue.
    My heart keeps open house,
    My doors are widely swung.
    An epic of the eyes
    My love, with no disguise.

    My truths are all foreknown,
    This anguish self-revealed.
    I’m naked to the bone,
    With nakedness my shield.
    Myself is what I wear:
    I keep the spirit spare.

    The anger will endure,
    The deed will speak the truth
    In language strict and pure.
    I stop the lying mouth:
    Rage warps my clearest cry
    To witless agony.

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    1. The Unapologetic Hippie Post author

      One of my favorite poets! “With nakedness my shield. Myself is what I wear.”… Sums up the open book that I am, sometimes to the chagrin of some, happily with the agreement and support of many. Thank you.

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    1. The Unapologetic Hippie Post author

      Thanks again Lee. You are always so supportive. Delicate topics seem “delicate” today, but back then they were subjects we spoke about without any hesitation. When did we go backwards into puritanism?

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  2. Darwinfish

    Of all the men I’ve been with, only one ever asked. Unfortunately, he was the last man I have had sex with to date, so….

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    1. The Unapologetic Hippie Post author

      It’s a sticky wicket! Despite the sexual revolution, I think this is one of those subjects people hope no one brings up. Leave it to me to do so! Strange how talking about sexual practices or biological functions is considered something one does not discuss among “polite” company, meaning “tight asses.” In other cultures, the art of sex is not censored by our own vestigial puritanical roots. Thanks for being brave enough to comment. I think you are the only one who has had the courage, though it turns out this practice has proven medical benefits.

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    2. The Unapologetic Hippie Post author

      Darwinfish, thanks for your candor. We still seem to be suffering from an inability to talk about sex openly and without speaking “around the topic” rather than directly and openly. Strange how so many are still so uptight about discussing these quite normal things.

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