Monthly Archives: February 2018

Should I Laugh or Cry?

Yesterday, I was taken to a town square where I was stoned to death by a horde of my fellow citizens.

Let me explain.

I interact with Facebook only sporadically. Usually when I visit, I pay little attention to the newsfeed that greets me, but go directly to my notifications. Before I did that though, I saw from the corner of my eye a post by a father about gun control, or rather NO gun control, and the fact that his pre-teen and teen-age sons each had an AR-15 and other automatic weapons.

Given the Valentine’s Day massacre in Parkland, I was already upset. This just crossed a line. I admit my reaction was somewhat knee-jerk. I expressed my belief, wrongly or rightly, that I thought it was bad parenting and nothing good would come from it. I also said in no uncertain terms I was not one for taking their (goddam) guns away, but that we all needed to compromise on some regulation of the more egregious weaponry available. I did not foresee the torrential storm.

If I had had the foresight, it is at this point I would have copied, pasted, and saved the entire thread somewhere so you could see for yourselves the “stones” thrown at me. It was as if this guy who wrote the post was able to instantaneously galvanize all his friends to hurl things at me. Pots, pans, knives, yikes!

As a matter of fact, he was able to do that. Had I taken the time to click on Glenn Wheeler’s profile, I would have learned that he had another page besides the one I was on… an official page. He was Sheriff of Newton County, Arkansas and was campaigning to be re-elected. He did have built-in stone throwers!

One stone, one barb after another. Incessant. I think all 535 people who “like” his campaign page hurled a stone or sharp object at me, sometimes veiled threats written all in caps; accusations of being a non-Christian (well, that one they got right though I am a fan of Jesus.) One might think the ruskibots were at work! No. My own countrymen were doing the work for them! Maybe they were the same trolls who call the Parkland students “crisis actors.” I would not doubt it for a moment. I feel certain it is the intractable ideologue, like those who meant me harm, who are capable of doing something so disgraceful as trying to smear the integrity of the Marjory Stoneman Douglas students… all in an effort to discredit their desire for gun control?

I had to review what was now an immensely long thread, and block each and every person who posted a comment for fear they would start attacking my own page. Who knows?

I have met the most powerful enemy and it is us! I haven’t been bullied like that since Junior High! My blood pressure! My heart rate! I did not realize that a virtual room filled with people who hated you could have such a physical effect. It made me understand better the teens that are bullied online.

The divisiveness within our country is far scarier to me than North Korea or Russia. It prevents us from having a substantive discussion about mass shootings in America. It prevents us from discussing the facts surrounding the modification of guns.

I am glad the students from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School are pissed off. Their passion is contagious and will spread to other youngsters who are sick and tired of prayers and want action.

President Trump says he will meet with the students to discuss school safety. Did he have to get permission from Wayne LaPierre first?

Trump: Wayne, help me out here. I’ve got to do something! These kids look too good. What about the bump stocks?

Wayne: OK, Donald. Throw them a bone. Tell them you’ll have the ATF look into making an administrative regulation.

Trump: It would look better, Wayne, if I could say we were making it a law.

Wayne: No legislation, Donald! How many times do I have to tell you and those dufuses McConnell and Ryan! You can say you’ll get rid of the bump stocks and that’s it! You all owe us big time! Besides, we have other ways to modify an AR-15 to behave like a machine gun.

hellstorm copy

The Hell Fire Trigger System. Christ, it works with MAK-90s, AK-47s, Mini-14’s and 30’s, AR-15s and their clones, SKS’s, the M-11 and some others. What more do you want? Sure we can let you say you’ll get rid of bump stocks.


Then we have the Gatcrank. Sells for only $40.00. Turns your rifle into a Gatling gun. Limited by only how fast you can crank! Fucks with your aim, but can bring down a crowd in no time! 

Works on the AR-15 and a lot of other rifles. So sure, Donald, we’ll let you give them the bump stocks. It’s the very least we can do. The very least.  

You can return the favor, Donald, by insisting safe schools really means metal detectors, security guards, and an armed faculty and administration. If we can get that across, Colt, Smith and Wesson, and about 13 other manufacturers will be very generous to you come next election cycle. Just remember that Donald! 

Trump: OK Wayne. Gotcha. Don’t worry. You know you can count on me. Click. 

Phew! Sorry folks. Did not know I was going to go off like that. Anyway, that town square where I was stoned… the one where all the people throwing the stones felt righteous and that god is on their side? That town square?

Guess where it is.



Just shoot me now and get it over with,

The Unapologetic Hippie