Tag Archives: Jesus

The Power of Dog

When Jesus was crucified, did they nail his left foot on top of his right, or his right foot over his left? When they laid him in the sepulcher, did they place his left hand over his right, or the other way around?

These questions come to me every night as I crawl into bed. Recently I’ve noticed I always assume the same position. It never varies. It’s instinctual. I’ve probably been doing it since I was a child. I slip under the covers and without thinking, my left foot crosses over my right, and my hands lay crossed upon my chest. I lie there absolutely still as if in a coma. I look down on myself from my witnessing station on the ceiling. This is how I might look if I were lying in a casket! Maybe just like Jesus!

Out of curiosity, I tried to find the earliest images of the Crucifixion. There were a couple of simple sketches dating back to 200-300 AD, but no detailed pictures until depicting the crucifixion in paintings became de rigueur in the 14th and 15th Centuries. I found no pattern in any of the images. Some had his left foot over his right, others, the opposite. Some had both feet next to each other. Some had his ankles pierced, but not the feet. What was I to make of this? And why does it matter?

Well, it doesn’t matter. And I guess I knew intuitively all along that I wouldn’t find any consistent images of Jesus on the Cross or in what position he was placed in his tomb. This comes as no surprise. What we know about Jesus we know from centuries after his death. The passage of centuries does not instill confidence that an event has been accurately portrayed either through images or word of mouth that may have been eventually written down by someone on the other end of the telephone game.

But just because I cannot prove that I sleep in exactly the same position in which the body of Christ was crucified and laid to rest does not mean that I am not Jesus reincarnated! I am Jesus incarnate! I am all prophets and avatars incarnate! But then, aren’t we all?

You may find this a bold statement especially since I do not consider myself Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim or Jewish. Or rather, I do consider myself all of them and none of them simultaneously. I guess this makes me Chrindubudlimish, or as I like to think of it, a Spiritual Mutt who enjoys the company of Zen-o-philes.

From this perspective, I see once again that religion is indeed the root of all evil, more than greed, money, or power. Though nothing but faith stands in the way of rational thought, it is this very faith that brings us to war. Only with faith can a person insist his is the true god and yours is a false one. Only with faith can a person insist his is the god of love and peace, and yours is not. Only with faith can a person die for a god that does not exist. Only with faith at our sides can we ignore facts and continue to preach and act upon lies.

It is in this context of the blasphemy of all religions that I implore you to consider another option; another path… the one this spiritual mutt knows will bring all humankind together… The Power of Dog! In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with Dog, and the Word is Dog.

Gus in backyard

Be honest with yourselves. Have you even tried to open your heart to Dog? Have you ever felt the power of Dog in your life? Do you let Dog guide your every move and thought? I ask you to fill your life with Dogliness and surrender your ego to Dog. If you do, Dog will adore and protect you, give you peace where there is strife, calm your worries and comfort you. Though ye walk through the valley of the shadow of death, ye will fear no evil for Dog is with thee.

Lo, I say unto you, consider the assassin who after murdering a slew of people trembles when he points the gun at Dog, his big dark eyes looking up at him, his tongue hanging out and his tail wagging. The assassin cannot pull the trigger. We immediately feel an attraction for his humanity and compassion. We may even begin to like him. Dog has entered his heart and that has made all the difference.

Be thee like the people gathered at the gates of the railroad crossing. They get out of their cars to cringe as they watch the puppy Dog sitting on the tracks. The locomotive quickly approaches. There is no time to save him. The people wail, cry and call out their grief to Doggie. His innocent face turns curiously toward the yells. His Cuteness is excruciating to behold; his imminent demise makes everyone anguished. The locomotive screams over Dog. And when the train has passed and the gates have opened, miracle of miracles, Dog is still sitting there, licking his paw, his Puppiness tugging at your heartstrings. An audible sigh of relief comes from the onlookers. Such is the power of Dog whose Cuteness no one can deny.

There are verily hundreds of kinds of Dog. In fact there is a Dog for every person. Each may worship Dog in any manner they wish; for they all have the same thing in common… Dogliness. The love and affection, the loyalty and protection, are all to be found in Dog, regardless of which Dog you adore. Adore Dog and Dog will adore you with unconditional love! All Dog asks is that you love him unconditionally in return (and give him regular offerings of food and exercise and maybe a treat once in a while!)

Remember that Dog long preceded any and all of the Gods and prophets that cause so much chaos in the world today. It is a far better thing we do to worship Dog than to fight in the name of some God. Dog is real. God is not. God is faith, Dog is fact. Bring Dog into your life and feel the joy, love and peace that is Dog! May the Dog be with you… et cum spiritu tuo.


Phil Polizatto,

AARF (Atheists Against Religious Fanatics)